A Guide To Performing Mind Blowing Oral Sex.

Have you ever wondered what you can do to improve your oral sex skills? Don’t worry, you are not alone. We all want to please our partners and when we succeed, well that’s empowering. Because oral sex is such an intimate act, it can feel incredibly intense when done correctly. Of course, it is also one of the trickiest sexual acts to master. If you are new to oral sex, or simply want to pick up some new tips, read on.

 

Overcoming stumbling blocks:

Before your partner can fully enjoy the experience, they need to feel completely relaxed. Some people feel apprehensive about oral sex. There are many reasons for this, but some of the most common are as follows:

- Believing that their genitals look, taste and/or smell awful.

- Phobias (Such as germs, genitals or sex in general).

- Performance anxiety; feeling like all the attention is on them.

- Not enjoying the sensations that oral sex provides.

The reasons listed above can effect both men and women. Contrary to popular belief, not all men enjoy blow jobs. If your partner feels uneasy about oral sex, you might want to find out what their reservations are. Their concerns could be resolved using a simple workaround, like taking a shower beforehand, using flavoured lubricants (to mask taste and smell) or using condoms. Always communicate with sensitivity and respect. The worst thing you can do is criticise or lay blame. If your partner’s anxiety stems from deeper psychological issues, a resolution might not be as quick or easy. A sex therapist or counsellor may help them overcome their barriers. Some people simply hate the sensations provided by oral sex and would prefer to go without. In instances such as these, you will have to be patient, or accept that this isn’t their thing. If you pressurize or guilt somebody into doing something they don’t like, resentment and mistrust will build.


Perfect your communication.

Some people believe that great sex happens effortlessly and that you should click naturally if there is a sexual chemistry between you. Others feel incredibly shy and struggle to verbally communicate their needs. Whatever the reason for the silence, it is important to try and work through it. Your sex life can improve dramatically if you do.
If you and your partner are sexing in silence, it’s time to bring in some techniques to help you communicate more effectively. Remember, most people want to please their partner in the sack and would be extremely grateful to receive some helpful feedback.


The next time you perform oral sex on your partner, try asking some of the following questions:

“Do you prefer it faster or slower?”
“Should I use my fingers too, or just my mouth?”
“Do you prefer sucking or licking?”
“Do you prefer broad, flat licks, or a pointed, flicking sensation?”

Avoid asking too many questions that require a yes or no answer. If you ask your partner if something feels nice, they might be more likely to say yes (even if it doesn’t) to avoid frustrating you, or hurting your feelings.

You should also learn how to effectively read your partner’s body language, because this will clue you in to how they feel without needing to ask. Some signals (such as hip rocking) are obvious, but others (such as swollen labia, flushed chest and erect nipples) can be more subtle. Pay close attention to your partner’s body and you should begin to recognise their state of arousal.


Show Enthusiasm:

I believe that when it comes to oral sex, enthusiasm is often more important than skill. If you don’t believe me, tell me what you would prefer?

- A partner who knows exactly where to touch you, but appears to be detached from the moment, indifferent to what is happening.

- A partner who occasionally misses the mark, but is relishing this moment with you. Their passion, curiosity and excitement shows.

If your heart is not in it, or you are focusing all of your attention on technique, your partner might wonder why you seem so distant. Worry is a huge passion killer. Enthusiasm however, is contagious. Show your partner how much you enjoy going down on them by trying the following techniques:

- Offer to do it: Nothing says “I want to” more than volunteering. If your partner has to ask you all the time, they might suspect you don’t enjoy oral sex.

- Take your time: If you rush to the finish line every time, your partner might assume that you’d rather not be down there. If you want them to experience intense orgasms, tease them first. This allows their arousal to build slowly, before you even touch their hot spots.

- Vocalise your enjoyment: Give your partner genuine compliments on how fantastic they look, taste and smell. Throw in a few moans and sighs when it feels right too.

- Get stuck in: It’s perfectly natural to feel unsure at first, but if you constantly appear tentative, your partner might assume something is wrong. Go down on them like this is your last meal, savouring every moment.

- Stay connected: When you perform oral sex on a partner, your head is down between their legs, making it difficult to maintain eye contact, cuddle up, or speak to each other. This can make you feel a little disconnected. Fix this by making eye contact when possible and using your hands to caress and hold your partner’s body.

- Be playful: It sounds so simple, but humour can help alleviate tension and relax your partner. A cheeky grin can go a long way to showing how much you are enjoying this moment.

 

Experiment:

When we figure out the techniques that work well for our partner, we continue using these tried and tested methods until we feel like we are stuck in a rut. Shake things up now and then by exploring new techniques and sensations. You can still use the fool proof techniques, just save them for the latter stages of your oral sex session. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

- You can produce many different sensations using your lips, mouth and tongue. Experiment first with the shape of your tongue (flat and broad, or pointed and firm), before trying different pressures and movements (such as flicks and swirls) You can even try gentle sucking (female) and varying the intensity of the suction (male).

- Save the penis/clitoris until last and try licking, kissing and sucking surrounding areas to get your partners blood pumping. The thighs, labia, testicles and perineum are particularly sensitive.

- Try using your hands at the same time as your mouth. You can insert a few fingers into the vagina/anus, or use your hand to provide additional stimulation elsewhere.

- Experiment with added extras, such as flavoured lubricants, vibrators and cock rings. And there you have it. With a little understanding, lots of experimentation, a little enthusiasm and great communication, you can take your oral sex sessions (and all other forms of intimacy) to the next level. Just remember that practise makes perfect. I am sure your partner won’t mind being your guinea pig.