Buying your first sex toy - finding the perfect one for you.

Congratulations! You’ve made the important decision to buy your very first sex toy. It could be that you want something to help you achieve a more powerful orgasm when you’re alone, or maybe you want to spice up foreplay and sex with your partner. Whatever your reasons for buying sex toys, you should feel proud of yourself for making this confident first step towards dramatically improving your sex life. 

As you will soon learn when you begin to shop for that perfect sex toy, there are an almost overwhelming amount of adult products to choose from. Thousands of sex toys in a variety of shapes and sizes fill every sex toy website to bursting point, while sex toys shopping on the high street isn’t much easier. Shelf upon shelf of vibrators and dildos from vivid colours to realistic flesh tones, with sizes ranging from tiddlers to door stop monstrous. How will you ever find the sex toy that’s absolutely perfect for your specific sexual needs?

What types of sex toys are available?

First of all, let’s cover the basics in terms of what types of sex toys are available.


‘Vibrators’ as a category of sex toys really covers an astounding number of items. Vibrators can come in all shapes and sizes. As well as the classic phallic (penis shaped) vibrator with a button on the base or twist base function, there are also rabbit vibrators, made famous of course, through that Sex and the City episode.
As many women orgasm through clitoral stimulation rather than penetrative (vaginal/internal) stimulation, clitoral vibrators have found incredible popularity both for women to use alone, and as a complement to couples’ sex. Clitoral vibrators range from unisex hand held massagers that can also be used on various erogenous zones, to small, discreet bullet vibrators which boast amazing vibration power for their size.
Couples vibrators can be worn during sex to deliver thrills and excitement to both partners, as well as increasing the chance that she will orgasm during sex thanks to the intense clitoral stimulation. A fine example of a best selling couples vibrator is the We Vibe.
Finger Tinglers are vibrators which are used as an extension of the finger, usually attached by a stretchy ring. Pocket Rockets are twist base, battery operated vibrators which are held in the hand, close to a cylindrical shape and single or multi speed.
Panty or knicker vibrators are vibes which are placed into her underwear to deliver discreet vibrating pleasure via a remote control, which may be wired or wireless.
For those looking for incredible vibrating power, magic wand vibrators offer intense levels of vibration, with cordless, rechargeable options available or mains powered for limitless play.



Dildos are insertable sex toys which are static (non-vibrating), the focus being on the pleasure given by the shape itself. Realistic dildos are modelled closely on a real penis shape and size, with flesh tones, realistic veining and dildos which even have testicles at the base for added fun.
Dildos are often waterproof thanks to the lack of any mechanical parts or internal motors, and some have a suction cup base for hands free pleasure. Some dildos have a flared base which makes the harness compatible - so they can be used in conjunction with a strap on harness.
Many dildos are ‘non-realistic’ or abstract, meaning that they are not phallic and not based on the look of a real penis. These offer pleasure options to those who don’t want a penis replica sex toy, such as certain couples and in particular, lesbian lovers. Non-realistic dildos may be smooth or textured, large or small, have a suction cup or flared base and come in any one of a variety of colours. They may be soft and flexible such as jelly and silicone dildos or firm and rigid such as steel and glass dildos (made from body safe materials).
Double ended dildos are dildos which have an insertable tip to each end. They are most often very flexible, made from rubber, jelly or silicone, but can be found made from rigid materials such as glass as well. Flexible double ended dildos are incredibly versatile and can be enjoyed by a woman alone for either vaginal-only or double penetrative (vaginal and anal) pleasure, a woman with her female lover for lesbian sex, a hetero couple during intimate times (female to male anal pleasure and sex) or a male on his own for anal stimulation with the additional safety of a longer handle to grip.


Cock rings

Cock rings, also known as love rings, can be made from a stretchy material such as rubber, jelly or silicone or a rigid material such as stainless steel or other body safe metal. A cock ring is worn around his shaft, or both shaft and balls, and offers many benefits during masturbation and sex. Some cock rings have vibrating functions while others simply offer the pleasurable grip of a snug fitting ring.
During masturbation, a static (non-vibrating) or vibrating cock ring can intensify sensations for a man leading to a more powerful orgasm. During couples’ sex, a static cock ring can help his erection feel stronger and more powerful, as the flow of blood is temporarily trapped in the erection thanks to the tight but comfortable fit. His erection will last longer and sex will be more enjoyable for both. A vibrating cock ring, or love ring, can be enjoyed by both partners, especially styles which offer a textured area on the ring through which vibrations and stimulation is delivered to her clitoris during sex.



Male masturbators offer men an enjoyable, exciting and new way to play. Gone are the days of the old fashioned hand job - now you can enjoy a variety of sensations given by the wealth of male masturbators and strokers available. Held in easy grip canisters, these removable, real-feel masturbation sleeves have internal textures to thrill his penis, while the outer openings often resemble real parts of anatomy such as vaginal, anal or mouth. The most famous of all the male masturbators are Fleshlight, which are luxurious and boast thousands of fans worldwide. Their partner company Fleshjack, offers gay style masturbators based on male orifices such as anal and mouth openings. Both Fleshlight and Fleshjack have ranges devoted to replicas of famous porn stars, so you can indulge in that long held fantasy whenever you like.
Other male masturbators include pocket pussies which are hold in the hand, value priced masturbators, and disposable (one use) masturbation cups and sleeves, of which the Tenga Onacups and Tenga Eggs are the most well known.


Anal Toys

For those who seek to uncover ‘rear end’ pleasure, there are a wealth of anal sex toys to select from. Only sex toys which have a flared base should be used anally; unlike the vagina there is a chance that objects inserted into the bottom can be drawn up into the body. For safety, only use sex toys specifically designed for anal use in this area.
Butt plugs are the most popular anal sex toy. Fulfilling shapes from small to large, a choice of flexible or rigid materials (including inflatable styles) and vibrating as well as non-vibrating options mean that you really can tailor make your own perfect anal pleasure session. Butt plugs with a flat flared base can offer excitement in the form of discreet fun, even if you’re out and about. They can be worn during sex too, for additional stimulation. Other anal sex toy types include anal beads, often withdrawn at the point of orgasm to extend and intensify the climax, and slender probe styles to give the sensation of being deeply fulfilled.

Bondage sex toys

Bondage sex toys covers so many different styles of sex accessory and definitely doesn’t only include handcuffs and other restraints. We will discuss bondage sex toys in greater depth in another article. As well as the soft ties and wrist cuffs most often associated with bondage sex toys, there are also many spanking paddles, mouth gags, bondage furniture and other kinky accessories to take your sex and fantasies to the next level.
When it comes to shopping for your very first sex toy, online shopping is a fantastic method to use. You can shop from the comfort of your own home, removing any chance of embarrassment you may feel shopping for such an intimate item on the high street. Sex toys bought from reputable websites such as Save My Blushes are sent in plain, discreet packaging, so there’s no worry that the postman or your neighbours will be able to tell what you’ve bought - or even where you’ve bought it from.
In addition, you can take your time shopping for sex toys online. Read the descriptions carefully and take note of the dimensions and sizes given for a sex toy which catches your eye. What are its main features? Has anyone left any reviews for the product?
There are several factors to take into consideration when searching for that perfect sex toy, so that your purchase will be an investment in pleasure - not money wasted on a toy which will be used once, cause frustration and be destined to live under the bed, gathering dust forever more.


What factors should be considered?

Before you click that ‘buy now’ button, first take a moment to make sure you’ve considered these important points.

The size

When you’re buying a sex toy online it can be easy to overlook the actual size of the product. If you’re new to sex toys, it’s particularly important to be aware that they don’t all come in one standard, or realistic, size. Vibrations can make a sex toy feel even larger than it is, exaggerating the sensations within you. If you’re new to sex toys, it’s wise to start smaller than you think you’ll need then work your way up if necessary. This is especially true when it comes to anal sex toys, when it’s definitely a good idea both for comfort and safety to select a butt plug that’s small enough to insert with ease (as well as lashings of lubricant).


The material

Sex toys come in many types of materials, so it’s good to be aware of what they are and how they affect your use of the toy. If you’re looking for a flexible (bendy) sex toy, then rubber/elastomer (also known as TPR/TPE), jelly and silicone sex toys may be what you’re after. If you want an inflexible, rigid toy, look for stainless steel sex toys or those made from body safe (borosilicate) glass. If you want to use silicone lubricant with your toys, then avoid silicone sex toys - silicone lube and silicone toys are not compatible with one another.
Some sex toy materials are known to contain phthalates, potentially harmful chemicals that can be transferred to your body during intimate use. Look for sex toys which are marked ‘phthalates-free’ to be sure of your safety.
If you have any questions about a sex toy’s material, ask the company directly before purchase.


The power type

Gone are the days when all vibrators rely on battery power. Modern styles include toys which are mains powered for limitless, intense power, as well as rechargeable options. Some rechargeable sex toys charge up via a dock, others with a mains (wall) plug and some opt for a USB method of charging for ultimate portability and ease. Of course, you can still buy the good old fashioned battery operated type too.


The waterproof element

There are benefits to buying a sex toy which is 100% waterproof. Not only can you make sure that you clean it thoroughly after every use, you can also enjoy it in the bath or shower. Take your waterproof sex toy with you when you relax in the bath, or why not share a saucy shower with your lover, with the added excitement of a vibrator or butt plug?


The noise

Thin walls, nosy neighbours or living with family? Whatever the reason, many people understandably want the quietest, most discreet sex toy possible. Don’t make the mistake of assuming that all sex toys are whisper quiet. Read up on real people’s reviews of the sex toy, any other feedback you can glean from the internet and if all else fails, ask the company directly about the noise levels of the sex toy.


The functions

When you’re buying your first sex toy, it’s likely that you won’t really know what sort of functions you will really value. Will you enjoy low, pulsing, teasing vibrations? Will you be a vibration power queen, seeking the highest intensity every time? Choose a first vibrator which offers a variety of speeds and if possible, functions too. A twist base vibrator, for instance, will offer you vibrations from low to high intensity. A multi function vibrator will offer not only low to high intensity but also a range of pulses, oscillation and ascending styles too, allowing you to experiment and find your favourite method of pleasure.



The reviews

As mentioned above, many sex toys available to buy have already been tested, enjoyed and reviewed by real people who write honest feedback about them on the internet. If the particular sex toy you’re considering doesn’t have any reviews on the sex toy website’s product page, why not quickly Google the sex toy’s name and the term ‘review’ to find out what people are saying about it? It’s a good measure of what the toy will actually be like in practice.


The price

The final factor to consider is the price. The price of a sex toy doesn’t always determine how amazingly brilliant it will be or conversely, how disappointingly rubbish. The old adage, ‘you get what you pay for’ doesn’t always hold true with sex toys. Don’t rely on a high price tag to determine which sex toy is best for you and likewise, don’t write off a cheaply priced sex toy because you believe it will be useless. Once you consider all the other factors above and decide what is important for you personally, then you can make a balanced, well researched decision that goes beyond price alone.
That said, many high end, designer and luxury sex toys are more costly than unknown brands. Reassuringly, these usually arrive with a guarantee and the peace of mind that comes from investing with a well known sex toy manufacturer that puts their customers’ pleasure first.
When buying your first sex toy, take the time to consider all the factors mentioned above as well as any other issues that may be particular to your circumstances. If you’re buying a sex toy to use with your partner, sit down together and communicate to each other what sort of sex toys you’d both be interested in using, as well as any which really don’t float your boat. There’s no guarantee that you will find a sex toy which is 100% perfect for you, but by considering the above pointers you can avoid wasting money on sex toys which don’t suit your needs and desires.
Once decided, buy your chosen sex toys from a reputable sex toy shop such as Save My Blushes. You can rest assured that your sex toys will arrive in discreet packaging and with professional care and attention, and that your first foray into the world of sex toys will be truly satisfying. 

- Cara Sutra