How to Stimulate Erogenous Zones to Spice Up Your Sex Life.

Have you ever felt that electric tingle, shooting down your spine as your lover brushes their fingertips over your skin? Have you ever melted into a hot pool of lust during a particularly passionate kiss? Our sense of touch is so powerful, that a single tactile action can set the entire tone of your sexual encounter. Soft, lingering caresses make us feel relaxed, loved and connected to our partner. Firmer, faster stimulation (such as grabbing, biting and scratching) can evoke feelings of passion and urgency.

If a single touch can create such mind spinning, heart racing arousal, can you imagine how intense your sex life could be if you dedicated more time to stimulating this important sense? The great news is that you don’t need any tools, or specialist knowledge to tap into this pleasure source. With a lot of enthusiasm and a little knowledge on your partner’s erogenous zones, you could be experiencing mind blowing sex in no time.


What is an Erogenous Zone?

Erogenous zones are areas of the body that are especially sensitive to tactile, sexual stimulation. When we hear the term “erogenous zone”, we immediately picture the areas of the body that are most commonly associated with sexual pleasure, such as the nipples and genitals. However, erogenous zones can be found all over the body, from the top of the head (scalp) to the soles of the feet. When you pay special attention to your lover’s erogenous zones, you are essentially priming their body and mind for sexual intimacy. You are building their sexual arousal and setting them on the path to explosive orgasms.



So, if erogenous zones can be found all over the body and stimulating them produces arousal and orgasms, why does it sometimes feel like we haven’t quite pushed the right buttons?

Despite the fact that these sensitive zones can be found all over the body, even in the most unexpected places, it is important to recognise that we are all unique. Every individual has their own set of erogenous zones and how reactive each zone is will vary from person to person. This is why you might discovered a particular touch that drove an ex-partner wild, does nothing for your current beau. What one person craves, another person finds irritating and this can be confusing, even disheartening.

Another thing to consider is that our sensitivity to touch can fluctuate. One of the most extreme changes in sensitivity happens immediately after orgasm, which is when many people report hyper-sensitivity in the clitoris and the glans of the penis. To a lesser degree, our reaction to touch can vary depending on factors like arousal level, tiredness and mood. Female sensitivity can even vary depending on where she is in her monthly cycle. We all have an “off” day occasionally and that’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up and remember that tomorrow is a new day.


How Do I Find My Partner’s Erogenous Zones?

There are two key factors to locating your partner’s erogenous zones; communication and exploration. Spend time exploring every inch of their body and you might be surprised at just how many erogenous zones you find. As you progress, check in with your partner. Asking questions such as “Do you want me to slow down?” and “What feels more intense, a light stroke or a firm stroke?” will help you discover what really makes them tick. When you have located their hot spots, experiment with the speed and pressure of your touch. Remember that your lips and tongue can also produce unique sensations. Mix it up to keep things fresh.




So, where do you start?


Well, aside from the genitals and nipples, here are some common erogenous zones that often get overlooked:

- The scalp
- The neck
- The ears
- The arm pits and underside of the arms
- The wrists, palms and fingers
- The lower back
- The stomach
- The hips
- The buttocks
- The inner thighs
- Behind the knees
- The feet

Now you know where they are, it is time to discover all the unique ways you can stimulate these areas.

Using your hands and mouth:

You can use your hands, lips and tongue to produce a number of different sensations. Some of these include:

- Massaging (Light or firm)
- Tickling
- Scratching
- Slapping
- Kissing
- Licking
- Sucking
- Biting

Experiment with each method of stimulation, changing the speed and pressure to produce different sensations. For example, you can massage your lover using slow, feather light strokes, or invigorate with a firmer, faster movement. Slapping can represent fast, gentle taps over their most sensitive areas, or a stinging swat across the buttocks. The same applies when you use your lips and tongue. You can pepper your partner in quick, soft kisses, run a soft tongue over their erogenous zones, flick and nibble. So many possibilities to produce different sensations.


Using Temperature:

When we think about tactile stimulation, we tend to focus most on physical touch, forgetting that the body also responds to changes in temperature. If you have ever enjoyed the sensation of a lovers hot hands roaming over your body, you will understand how this change in temperature can add a higher level of intensity to tactile sensation. In my experience, warm sensations often relax the body and cold sensations awaken the senses.

You can introduce temperature play in a number of ways. I recommend purchasing a massage candle, or oil designed to produce a heating effect when it comes into contact with the body. Alternatively you could place your standard bottle of massage oil into a bowl of hot (not boiling) water for approximately ten minutes before play (Ensure the oil is not too hot by testing it on the back of your wrist before use). There is something incredibly erotic about feeling warm, slippery oil trickling down onto your body. If you already own glass, silicone or metal sex toys, consider placing these into a bowl of warm water too. These materials tend to hold temperatures well and you can use them for massage, teasing and penetration. For those who enjoy more extreme sensations, you could purchase some bondage candles and indulge in some hot wax play.

If you want to cool things down a little, try using a partially melted ice cube to trace a cool path across their hot skin, before dripping icy droplets of water onto their most sensitive erogenous zones. Alternatively, switch the bowl of warm water for ice water and place your sex toys in that.

Note: Never use ice, or sex toys straight from the freezer. Ice burns are never fun!


Using tools and materials:

From feather ticklers to the Wartenburg pinwheel, sensory tools can be used to produce new and exciting sensations. One of the most powerful tools you can add to your collection is the humble blindfold. When you remove one of your partner’s senses (in this case, sight) their other senses are naturally heightened. Skin becomes more sensitive to touch and not knowing where, when or what is coming next is extremely arousing. Try experimenting with the following tools:

Nipple clamps. Clitoral clamps. Nipple suckers. Penis/pussy pumps. Nipple suckers and pumps. Bondage candles. Gloves (silk, leather, latex). Wartenburg pinwheel. Heating and cooling lubricants. Spankers. E-stim. Pegs. Ice cubes. Coconut oil (for massage). Silk ties.

The most important message to take away from this, is that you should never underestimate the power of touch. Couples who often indulge in tactile gestures (even when sex is off the table) report feeling closer and more connected to their partner. If you are not the most tactile person, it might be difficult to get into the habit, but the rewards are worth it. Bring back those sweet kisses before leaving for work, or those warm hugs when your return. You might be surprised at just how much closer you feel and how much more explosive your sex life becomes. 

- Gritty Woman for Save My Blushes